英语幽默小短文 300词的!

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JUST THE FACTS
James Canton,CEO of The Modern Northern Electrical Corporation,refused a seventy-eight percent pay raise because the company lost over eighty million in the last quarter,causing a lay off of thirty percent of its' work force.
He commented that although it will be a hardship on his family and mistress,they will have to make due with his twenty-two million dollar salary.
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Let's not forget Mr.Johnny Backer who was stopped at the border when a drug-sniffing dog alerted the authorities.They thoroughly searched the truck,and finding nothing,apologized to the driver.
The confused criminal muttered that he must have left the cocaine in the other truck.He was arrested after the police searched his other van finding over forty pounds of the illegal powder.
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From Mississippi we receive word that the police chief of a small town was arrested after he ran into the back of another car while under the influence.
He attempted to explain that he was chasing the vehicle after it ran a red light.This was hard to believe because the car in question had no tires and was up on blocks.His license was suspended.
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This country's consumer and national debt has become a major issue in the forthcoming election.Recently released figures show the average household owes over 85K,including mortgage,credit cards,car payments and,of course,entertainment and electronics,for their children.But this is the good news.
The bad news is that each man,woman and child's portion of the national debt comes to $361,582.I know exactly what you're thinking...does the IRS take personal checks?