大家帮我看看我写的这篇英语短文有没有文法错误,

大家帮我看看我写的这篇英语短文有没有文法错误,
As is known to many students in mainland,The University of Hong Kong is a palace of knowledge with sophisticated equipment and freedom of academic.Apart from it,the international atmosphere of study and abundant opportunities also hold great appeal to me.As far as I am concerned,studying in The University of Hong Kong can not only enrich my knowledge,but also broaden my horizons,so I am eager to study in The University of Hong Kong.
With a passion for engineering,I chose BENG as my first choice.I have a good ability of innovation and learning so I think it will be a suitable curricular for me.What is more,with the rapid development of science and technology,more and more people who major in these subjects are needed.We can not ignore the fact that China is not mature enough in some areas of technology compared with some developed countries,so I consider it to be a proper choice for me.In addition,I took BSC(AC) and BSC as my second and third choice.
As for me,I am good at study and always get good grades in the exams.With an optimistic attitude,I could overcome difficulties positively.I wish I could do some achievements in engineering field through my perseverance and efforts.Besides,I am keen to make a contribution to the society using my knowledge studying in the university in the future.